sometimes we let go of a special feeling just because that would possibly defy our principles and beliefs. we tend to control ourselves, thinking that it would be better to live our lives without causing too much conflict on both parties. yes it is really painful to only hold on to your thoughts and petty memories. maybe the easiest remedy is to interchange the functions of the mind and the heart. but like a malfunctioned machine, it would eat up the system and eventually cause it to breakdown.
true: love is complex, but if you choose not to love at all, then it becomes deadly...
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
tides...
i feel like dying today
like the wind blowing in the direction of nowhere
like a spear in the heart of a dying poet
and poison on the throat of a nightingale
my existence has already crossed the edge of my patience...
betrayal stabs me
my blood being sucked by a vampire,
flesh betwixt the fangs of a vulture...
i screamed,
only to find out
i've already lost that thing called "life"
--and that spells my feeling right now...
like the wind blowing in the direction of nowhere
like a spear in the heart of a dying poet
and poison on the throat of a nightingale
my existence has already crossed the edge of my patience...
betrayal stabs me
my blood being sucked by a vampire,
flesh betwixt the fangs of a vulture...
i screamed,
only to find out
i've already lost that thing called "life"
--and that spells my feeling right now...
tonight i die...
i think of the lonely hours
and breakdown on the cold nights
when thoughts of uncertainty
cross the borders of my humanity;
then let me steal the lines
"i think, therefore i exist"
because that may spell a clear distinction
between my existence and illusion
so what is it that makes up the person?
which comes first, the body or the soul?
i guess the more physical it gets,
the earlier its existence takes place.
therefore i may say that until now
inside this almost twice-a-decade temple
no soul inhabits the vessel
i may still be delusional, the fact
that i visually land here in the hot soils
of false sorcerers and black pearls
and linger onto the gods
of intellect and wealth.
tonight i am dead, and living is not a problem
because tomorrow forecasts a feeling of absurdity
which i do not want to wake my eyes into anymore...
the pains of reality struck me on my face
there's no one to grab my hands
as i gradually sink into the quicksand
of earth and the cruel world.
i call the earth as such
because there's no meaning attached to it
except for its being planet
and a house for some creations
it is a skeleton, an outline
of the sufferings one has to swallow
as we live along the slow-paced journey.
while the other planets orbit the sun
while the stars look down with pity
while the earth's satellite run for its part
in shading the former during its eclipse,
how do you define the world?
our existence would then defy
a thousand theoretical definitions
for a library of knowledge is never enough
to compete with our personal attachment to this home
where we complete our person
and accept the souls in our lowly bodies
in deep penetration and intimate union.
the world is our home, and life is cruel
that we often blame the former for the latter's evil
now let me say, my illusion and existence
already spell a clear distinction betwixt themselves
"i think i exist"
and the feeling can not be stolen
because along the bounds of my humanity
beyond the thoughts of uncertainty
and the breakdown of the painful nights
i defy the lonely hours...
and breakdown on the cold nights
when thoughts of uncertainty
cross the borders of my humanity;
then let me steal the lines
"i think, therefore i exist"
because that may spell a clear distinction
between my existence and illusion
so what is it that makes up the person?
which comes first, the body or the soul?
i guess the more physical it gets,
the earlier its existence takes place.
therefore i may say that until now
inside this almost twice-a-decade temple
no soul inhabits the vessel
i may still be delusional, the fact
that i visually land here in the hot soils
of false sorcerers and black pearls
and linger onto the gods
of intellect and wealth.
tonight i am dead, and living is not a problem
because tomorrow forecasts a feeling of absurdity
which i do not want to wake my eyes into anymore...
the pains of reality struck me on my face
there's no one to grab my hands
as i gradually sink into the quicksand
of earth and the cruel world.
i call the earth as such
because there's no meaning attached to it
except for its being planet
and a house for some creations
it is a skeleton, an outline
of the sufferings one has to swallow
as we live along the slow-paced journey.
while the other planets orbit the sun
while the stars look down with pity
while the earth's satellite run for its part
in shading the former during its eclipse,
how do you define the world?
our existence would then defy
a thousand theoretical definitions
for a library of knowledge is never enough
to compete with our personal attachment to this home
where we complete our person
and accept the souls in our lowly bodies
in deep penetration and intimate union.
the world is our home, and life is cruel
that we often blame the former for the latter's evil
now let me say, my illusion and existence
already spell a clear distinction betwixt themselves
"i think i exist"
and the feeling can not be stolen
because along the bounds of my humanity
beyond the thoughts of uncertainty
and the breakdown of the painful nights
i defy the lonely hours...
minsan...
may mga panahon na wala ako sa sarili
madalas dapuan ng ligalig at pagkabagabag
dinadalaw ng hindi mawaring pakiramdam
na siyang nagdudulot ng pagkaasiwa
at pagtataka sa buhay
na nais kong iwaksi minsan...
minsan naiiisip ko kung baka ako lang ang talagang buhay
sa mundo at ang mga tao sa paligid ko ay pagsubok lamang
kung paano ko igagapang ang buhay
baka kasi ilusyon lamang ang eksistensya nila
at nanghihigop lang sila ng lakas
upang masubok kung hanggang saan
ang itatagal ko nang nakatayo at
humihinga...
humihinga ako kasabay ng paghinga ng mga dahon
sa paligid ng harding aking ginagalawan
humihinga ako kapag kinakabahan
sapagkat ito lamang ang nagpapabalik sa akin
sa sariling ulirat
humihinga ako at patuloy na nabubuhay
katulad ng mga hayop at maliliit na insekto
na aking pinapatay...
pinapatay ako ng mga sandali
na ang aking isipan ay puno ng dalamhati
dalamhating galing sa hindi maipaliwanag na lakas
lakas na hindi alam kung ano ang pinagmulan
lakas na unti-unting umaagnas
sa aking pag-iisip, sa aking pagkatao
nababaliw ako...
ako na walang ibang hinangad kundi
alamin ang halaga ng aking pagiging buhay
alamin kung hanggang saan ang dapat itagal
ng isang isipang hindi malaya
ngunit nakapagpapalaya ng isipan
ng mga naniniwala na alam ko
kahit sa sarili ko'y alam kong hindi sapat
na tawaging karunungan ang mga bagay
na nasasambit, naiisip...
naiisip ko minsan kung isa lamang akong pagsubok
isang ilusyon
sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin
at gayo'y walang halaga
ang sariling eksistensya
walang halaga
ang ako'y naririto...
naririto ako, nagtatanong, nangangarap
na sana'y madama ko ang halaga ng buhay
kahit minsan...
madalas dapuan ng ligalig at pagkabagabag
dinadalaw ng hindi mawaring pakiramdam
na siyang nagdudulot ng pagkaasiwa
at pagtataka sa buhay
na nais kong iwaksi minsan...
minsan naiiisip ko kung baka ako lang ang talagang buhay
sa mundo at ang mga tao sa paligid ko ay pagsubok lamang
kung paano ko igagapang ang buhay
baka kasi ilusyon lamang ang eksistensya nila
at nanghihigop lang sila ng lakas
upang masubok kung hanggang saan
ang itatagal ko nang nakatayo at
humihinga...
humihinga ako kasabay ng paghinga ng mga dahon
sa paligid ng harding aking ginagalawan
humihinga ako kapag kinakabahan
sapagkat ito lamang ang nagpapabalik sa akin
sa sariling ulirat
humihinga ako at patuloy na nabubuhay
katulad ng mga hayop at maliliit na insekto
na aking pinapatay...
pinapatay ako ng mga sandali
na ang aking isipan ay puno ng dalamhati
dalamhating galing sa hindi maipaliwanag na lakas
lakas na hindi alam kung ano ang pinagmulan
lakas na unti-unting umaagnas
sa aking pag-iisip, sa aking pagkatao
nababaliw ako...
ako na walang ibang hinangad kundi
alamin ang halaga ng aking pagiging buhay
alamin kung hanggang saan ang dapat itagal
ng isang isipang hindi malaya
ngunit nakapagpapalaya ng isipan
ng mga naniniwala na alam ko
kahit sa sarili ko'y alam kong hindi sapat
na tawaging karunungan ang mga bagay
na nasasambit, naiisip...
naiisip ko minsan kung isa lamang akong pagsubok
isang ilusyon
sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin
at gayo'y walang halaga
ang sariling eksistensya
walang halaga
ang ako'y naririto...
naririto ako, nagtatanong, nangangarap
na sana'y madama ko ang halaga ng buhay
kahit minsan...
REPLICA: On the Blue Shore of Silence
on the blue shore my love began to grow
yet i chose to love you in silence
on the blue shore of loneliness the earth dwelt upon me
but your voice, still, was a silent echo of the altar
hellfire rains down the irreverent waves of the shore
not long before the angels kept the seabed
on the blue shore i played the memories on a guitar
in silence, the passion consumed me from within
the greatness of the sun tried to pull me back
but your gravity never let me escape
while the planets fall into the abyss of passion
my heart sluggishly dies
bakit hanggang ngayon mahal pa kita?
gayong kahit isang awit ay hindi namutawi
sa iyong mga labi na tila ang yari ay patalim
nakakasakit, nakakasugat, nakakamatay
nilamon na ng dagat ang mga alaala
tuluyan nang nabingi ang hangin
bakit hanggang ngayon mahal pa rin kita?
kahit ang puso ay nakagapos sa katahimikan
sa awit ng bulag, sa iyak ng mga bata
ngunit ang langit ay gumagawa ng ingay
makinig, magmasid, makiramdam
ang pakpak ng mga paruparo ay nililikha ang anak ng bagyo
on the blue shore i began to kill my love
yet silence perfectly keeps the music alive
i suddenly felt the exorcism of the sun
but your repose silently washes me down with holy rain
giants leap from so much pain
the earth facilely dies in vexation
on the blue shore of misery
one word is enough to break the silence
the sword of your mouth drags the heart of a puerile
but still i never heard, nor even tried to listen
that on the blue shore where i laid my life
silence has killed...
yet i chose to love you in silence
on the blue shore of loneliness the earth dwelt upon me
but your voice, still, was a silent echo of the altar
hellfire rains down the irreverent waves of the shore
not long before the angels kept the seabed
on the blue shore i played the memories on a guitar
in silence, the passion consumed me from within
the greatness of the sun tried to pull me back
but your gravity never let me escape
while the planets fall into the abyss of passion
my heart sluggishly dies
bakit hanggang ngayon mahal pa kita?
gayong kahit isang awit ay hindi namutawi
sa iyong mga labi na tila ang yari ay patalim
nakakasakit, nakakasugat, nakakamatay
nilamon na ng dagat ang mga alaala
tuluyan nang nabingi ang hangin
bakit hanggang ngayon mahal pa rin kita?
kahit ang puso ay nakagapos sa katahimikan
sa awit ng bulag, sa iyak ng mga bata
ngunit ang langit ay gumagawa ng ingay
makinig, magmasid, makiramdam
ang pakpak ng mga paruparo ay nililikha ang anak ng bagyo
on the blue shore i began to kill my love
yet silence perfectly keeps the music alive
i suddenly felt the exorcism of the sun
but your repose silently washes me down with holy rain
giants leap from so much pain
the earth facilely dies in vexation
on the blue shore of misery
one word is enough to break the silence
the sword of your mouth drags the heart of a puerile
but still i never heard, nor even tried to listen
that on the blue shore where i laid my life
silence has killed...
sur le bord de tomber en panne
Je ne crois pas en l'amour, pour si je fais, je me prouverai seulement que j'ai toujours besoin de vous..
I do not believe in love, for if I do, I will prove myself only that I always have need of you..
I do not believe in love, for if I do, I will prove myself only that I always have need of you..
nuevo...
hayee! welcome to my new blog! this is where i plan to fasten my poetry and simple thoughts (hope it turns out that way). i transferred some of those that are posted on my other blog, on the blue shore of silence, so probably you'll be seeing some duplications and the like. this is an online compilation of whimsical poesies discharged from the ever unpredictable lunatic daydreamer, with the hope of making possible the waning of painful disturbances that corrupt the sanity of wishful mantras. dream to be one... be the one.
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