no more tagay for me?

i can't believe it, but my vice is taking its toll on me this early. i miss my bad-ass alcohol tolerance because now it only takes a week of stress and three hours of unlimited shots to knock me dead. my lungs are also getting weaker. i was not like this before.

i know i'm not 100% healthy and that i should be taking medications of some freakin' sort, but i just don't think i can give up my vice/s at once and go cold turkey. god can i imagine it sending me fatal seizures! but the thing is, now i have to do it in moderation, else i'll wreck my nerves and go all the way six feet below the ground. (mmm.. why is it always six? why not seven or eight?)

if there is any absurd principle behind this equally absurd thinking, that would be the love of life. yes, i love being alive, however ridiculous it may sound, and i don't want to spend my entire life worrying about things, so i'd rather do anything that affords enjoyment whenever i feel like doing it. i'm going to die early, anyway. but of course i am also familiar with the word "control" and i know when to hit that "moderate button" on. i'm still not worrying that much, but i'm starting to feel something funny in my body, plus my eyebags have sagged down the floor—it's the final bitch slap!