theo...

sem-ender papers are hard rocks on head plus all the mind-bogging tests and a lot more. all you need is bottle of beer! this was my last requirement for our last theology course, which had a great impact on my orientations and views. born out of our philisophical/radical beer-talks the night of my birthday, this contained my thoughts during that critical week...


Break the rules! That is how I can describe my flaming passion for life — break the rules in the sense that we should not always end up conforming to what the society and religion dictates. There are a lot of factors to consider but at least we have a chance to show our individuality and not let the system eat us alive.

Sometimes we get drowned with illusory figures of a perfect world and rectify ourselves to conform to the normal setting. But who, then, set the standards of normality? It may not be far from possible that what we cling into is not linear to our nature then we end up twisting our brains just to fit in. The world does not always tell the truth. We just have to know our nature, consider others’ and live with respect.

I believe action is human behavior to which the acting individual attaches subjective meaning and can be overt or inward and subjective. But by virtue of the subjective meaning attached to it by the acting individuals, action becomes social, and it takes account of the behavior of others and is thereby guided. My actions can be causally determined by the behavior of others, while still not necessarily being meaningfully determined by them. I am an individual and I am free, insofar as I am not disturbing the live of anybody or destroying the situation. I can always tell the world who I am, but I can never expect them to think the way I do because I respect individuality. The uniformity rests insofar as behavior is determined by purely rational actions of people to similar ulterior expectations. And in most cases, our actual action goes on in a state of inarticulate half-consciousness or actually unconsciousness of its subjective meaning. The ideal type case of meaning may be where meaning is fully conscious and explicit: this rarely happens in reality, and we have to deal with it.

I have to thank everyone for bringing back my person, which I thought I lost for a while. In my nineteen years of stay in these soils of "sorcerers and black pearls", it was only yesterday when, once more, I felt I was important, and as I start another year of struggle, my questions about existence now boil down to one answer, and that is respect.